Two things.

1) Chris Kelly is awesome.

2) I’m a 40 something year old lady who cannot bear to say the word “nipple.”

chriskelly:

Should Adults Be Allowed To Bring Kids To R-Rated Movies Where We Masturbate?

Many parents bring their children to R-rated movies, but are minors mature enough to see our panelists masturbating to the adult content on the screen?

Here’s a brand-new, filthy Onion News Network video I wrote the idea and script for. I have fond, fond memories of sitting around the writers room with the other writers, brainstorming filthy alternate ways to say masturbating. I’ve missed those times the most.

(Edited by the wonderful Kelly Hudson and directed by power-house Jew JJ Adler.)

  1. rubdown reblogged this from chriskelly
  2. iamnotmelcowan reblogged this from juliebrister and added:
    Julie Brister is a national treasure.
  3. themoosequeue reblogged this from topherchris
  4. attentiondoozers reblogged this from juliebrister and added:
    Julie Brister + The Onion = Awesome.
  5. juliebrister reblogged this from chriskelly and added:
    Two things. 1) Chris Kelly is awesome. 2) I’m a 40 something year old lady who cannot bear to say the word “nipple.”
  6. maythitran reblogged this from ticklr
  7. occono reblogged this from chriskelly
  8. asfgasgasbasdfqewtfdsb reblogged this from topherchris
  9. joshruben reblogged this from chriskelly and added:
    Everything is funny about this video. Chris Kelly, so good!
  10. rosscrain reblogged this from chriskelly and added:
    Chris Kelly wrote this. He’s hilarious. If you get a chance check out his tumbler. Enjoy.
  11. check-out-my-new-blog reblogged this from topherchris
  12. ticklr reblogged this from topherchris
I am Julie Brister. I'm an actor, writer and improv teacher living in Los Angeles. I'm writing a novel.

I like campfires, strong coffee, board games, super spicy Thai food, desert jaunts, creepy puppets, cats, wearing socks wrong side out, California living, napkins, artsy fartsy stuff, reading novels, the caramel corn at the Arclight, binge-watching TV, vegetable purees, French pop, cotton percale sheets, horses, good weird art, gulpy summer wine, skulls, comfy shoes, chile rellenos, bold accessories, my wonderful dog Wolfgang, Jacaranda trees, lakeside vacations, Kubrick, true crime stories, croissants, green and woodsy smells, funky cowboy boots, redwood trees, Trader Joe's, eavesdropping on people arguing in public, Bach, travel fantasies, groovy rugs, dining al fresco, ee cummings, memories of camp, saffron, long chats, hummingbirds, mean old nuns, old timey stuff, cloudy days, art deco LA, vintage cocktails, scary things, drive-thru car washes, bougie candles, Antiques Roadshow, dusk, english muffins, squeezy hugs, fluffy towels, Diane Arbus, Frito pie, thunderstorms, Victoriana, cinnamon, Mexican knick knacks, schadenfreude, owls, good manners, Texas, interesting pottery, cooking for friends, lists, NPR, road trips, orange and chocolate together, good stemware, layering, Southern literature, New Orleans, people watching, Hitchcock movies, paint by numbers, Japanese incense, needle crafts, Nazi documentaries and cheese.

I dislike d-bags, j-holes and flip flops.


email: juliebrister@gmail.com